April 2010
11 posts
Blog #365: DruJohnston.com
And just like that it’s done. This is going to be my new blog that I keep updating. Hopefully it won’t be as hard to follow as The Year of the Blog… but it’s my new venue to post my thoughts about the starbucks barista’s I’m irritated by, the short stories I write, and any information on upcoming videos and projects.
But for now the blog has got info on a few upcoming...
Blog #364: Acknowledgments: The Blog
I was trying to figure out how to finish this guy on the train one day and I saw in the book I was reading the Acknowledgments section. Of course. The number of people I need to thank is countless, but I wanted to at least let a few of them know that I’m eternally grateful.
Thanks to everyone for sticking with me through this. One day left.
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Blog #363: Making Sense of the Millennium Falcon’s Kessel Run
Okay, so before I began the Year of the Blog I wanted to start a blog called The Cosmological Principles which was a blog about cosmology and problems in Astronomy, but written by a self-righteous jerk. Instead I’ve made a few blogs by [Dr.] Dru Johnston, essentially the same character, for this project. And I’m writing another one by...
Blog #362: Reconciling with that Asshole Blogger
Andy Jones, chief rival to the Year of the Blog and creator of his own year long blog project The Original Year of the Blog, is back with a vengeance. But this time only after I called him up and explained to him that I was about to be done with the project and we should probably put our differences aside. Here is his blog answer.
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Blog #361: Why I Refuse To Make A Blog About Ohio
I’ve had a lot of people (read: two) come up to me and say: “Hey Dru. You say you’re going to make a blog about every state in the union except Ohio. What’s your beef with Ohio man? C’mon what’s up with that? Why aren’t you going to make a blog about Ohio?” Well, in order to answer that question I’ve made a blog about it.
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Blog #360: Cop Out or Not
The final Tumblr Tuesday. What better way to celebrate the day that celebrated cop outs by making an even worse cop out blog than I’ve ever made before, purely examining other cop out blogs that I’ve made over the past year? I don’t think there is a way to do that. It’s not even a rhyme, that’s how much of a cop out this is.
Yep. I went there.
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Blog #359: Flat Stanley Adventure! Blogger Edition
Well… there’s exactly one week left… so I thought I’d bring back my good friend Ryan for one more blog because I enjoy these Flat Stanley blogs a lot. Also, I’ve been reading Kurt Vonnegut recently and as you will see this blog is pretty heavily influenced by that. Time to start closing up some loose ends guys!
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Blog #358: Easter Egg Hunt! The Easter Edition!
To celebrate Easter this year I’ve decided to give the kids an Easter Egg Hunt through a blog! But this isn’t any Easter Egg Hunt… this one is EASTER THEMED! ENJOY!
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Blog #357: Welcome to Boston, Mass Retahd
By Guest Blogger Alex Demers
So Alex is coming through with a guest blog this weekend while I get ready for my final push next week. The New Deal weekend is in full force (except Noah said he might not do one tomorrow… BUT IT’S STILL IN FULL FORCE!). And Alex, a Boston native himself, decided to grace the internets with his presence as a Boston Masshole...
Blog #356: Graphing Roger Ebert’s Tweets
Roger Ebert ( @ebertchicago ) seems to tweet more than any human being can. It’s insanely impressive… borderline immortal God like. But with all that tweeting, when the hell does he sleep?! I make a few charts, graphs and analysis of a single day in Ebert’s twitter history. March 31st, 2010. It’s even more insane than I thought it was…
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Blog #355: Holy Crap! CNN Fails Again!
Well… I’ve got to say that I make fun of CNN a lot, but secretly just love them… but today… man… today is bad. There are stories flying around left and right and these idiots just aren’t covering them! I mean c’mon CNN! With the news coming out today how are you instead covering TSA regulations? Jesus… sometimes I just wonder why…
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Blog #354: Two Girls One Cup Failblog
I try rather unsuccessfully to cash in on a three year old craze about watching a disgusting movie and filming my reaction to it. It’s probably best to start at the bottom of this one.
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March 2010
28 posts
Blog #353: Post-Not-Really-That-Secret
Tumblr Tuesday is back with a vengeance with a bunch of clearly obvious post secrets. You know that Tumblr is charging for themes now? WHAAAAA?!!!?
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Blog #352: Moses is 100% American
Well we’re rounding the corner of finishing this piece up and it’s getting harder and harder to come up with ideas. Thank the freakin’ lord for CNN. Today there was a piece about how Moses is uniquely American. So I made a blog about how Moses is COMPLETELY AMERICAN! Like everything good in America we stole it and it’s ours now.
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Blog #347: My Improv History
Well, today was a good day. And big news bears: I just got placed on a Harold team at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre: (Diner Cops!). I’m ridiculously excited, and so so so happy and so grateful to all my friends for their love and support along the way. This is really a pretty big dream for me, and I couldn’t be more thankful to all of you. So, rather than post...
Blog #346: Healthcare reform passed just in time…
Because the following things might have been considered pre-existing conditions for me… NO MORE PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS! HEALTHCARE REFORM! WOOOOOOO!!!!! Tumblr Tuesday.
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Blog #345: Oregonians Protest Healthcare Reform
WE HAVE HEALTH CARE! HUZZAH! I had a lot of ideas that I wanted to do today (among them Boehner’s Boners in which I photoshop his boners… but then I realized I didn’t want to look at that tanned “hell-no” face for that long nor do I want to imagine his penis), but after writing an article about the protesters for MediaElites.com (What what! Writing...
Blog #344: The Lion King is Hamlet
We examine the stories that Disney stole from the Bard. My friend Lisa and I always wanted to do a play called Hamlet is a Lion and just do Hamlet but dress the characters in Lion King costumes. That doesn’t really have much to do with the blog, just wanted to say that.
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Blog #343: Faces of Kentucky
There’s a little Kentucky in everyone…
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Blog #342: Things I Wish Had A Clear History Option
Firefox has this option. I believe other things should have this option too. Thanks to my friend Ben for the inspiration. Happy Friday everybody!
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Blog #341: Tweets from Video Game Characters
If video game characters had twitter accounts. Just a few sampled selections.
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Blog #340: Tips for your Northern St. Paddy’s Day Party
It’s St. Patricks day! So I’m going to help you with tips to through the best party you can. Just like your ancestors from Northern Ireland used to throw.
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Blog #339: My Seventh Grade School Notes
Lifted straight from the notebooks of my seventh grade year and Beaver Lake Middle School.
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Blog #338: Analyzing the Best Train Lyrics
The band train has provided me with several catchy riffs on my walks around the city. For a while I declared that my old college a Capella group do a Train medley because how great would that be?! But when I was listening to Meet Virginia today I realized that their lyrics make absolutely no fucking sense. So I’m analyzing them.
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Blog #337: Mississippi River: Nature’s Greatest Metaphor
Sometimes I think that the Mississippi River was made for the sole purpose of making young men’s coming-of-age journeys more accessible to both them and the people who read about them. We explore.
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Blog #336: Unbiased reviews of the greatest beef jerky
My roommate’s beef jerky company is unbiasedly reviewed. So fucking good.
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Blog #335: Over the past 11 months…
11 months ago today I started this project. That leaves one more to go. It’s been a really fun and rewarding 11 months, but in that time there are a lot of things I could have easily accomplished. Let’s explore?
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Blog #334: Plot or Not
OMG! SO SO LATE! Running around like a chicken with my head cut off, doesn’t mean I don’t have time to school all you in whether or not things are plots or not. Still enjoy making these, even if the joke stopped being funny months ago.
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Blog #333: Pitches by Albert Camus
Existential sitcom pitches by Albert Camus. If he ever wanted to be a sitcom writer, I would find that very amusing.
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Blog #332: A Blog for… YES I CAN FEEL IT!
It’s tumblr tuesday… and for inspiration for todays blog I browsed some of the prebuilt themes that they offer people. The one I found is possibly the most absurd thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t know anyone who could ever have a legitimate blog that looked like this one, so I made my most honest effort to blog truthfully with this theme in place. It’s very...
Blog #331: Hit Connections
Hit Connections is a lot like missed connections on craigslist… except it really serves no purpose whatsoever… So I bet craigslist removed it when they realized that.
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Blog #330: My rejected Oscar monologue jokes
OSCAR NIGHT! JOKES! These actually might be in the show… but there’s no way to tell as we have cablevision and they’ve decided not to air ABC. Well… so much for the Oscars. Maybe I’ll do something productive.
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Blog #329: My Schedule for March 6th, The Blog
To my assassin: You’re welcome. Last night there were a slew of tweets about my exact location at specific times and where I’d be. All this in an effort to help aid my assassin in this NYCAssassins game. I refuse to be outdone, so if people are going to tweet about where I’ll be, you might as well hear it from the source, Assassin. Here’s my schedule...
Blog #328: Some Tax Write Offs
Some friends of mine are freaking out about money they owe to the government. Since I once worked as a CPA’s assistant I figure I know the ins and outs of Taxes and what the IRS wants. So here is my advice. Taxes can be fun when you think about it.
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Blog #327: Chinese Food with Funny Captions
Funny is a loose term here.
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Blog #326: My Assassins Tactics
I’m in a game of assassins here in New York City which essentially means that I’m carrying around a nerf gun silently hunting a person while another person is carrying around a nerf gun silently hunting me. I am getting paranoid. This blog is give a leg up to my assassin. But it’s really not.
MIND GAMES!!!!
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Blog #325: Fuck Yeah Diet Lemon Tea Snapple From Downtown NY
“Fuck Yeah” tumblrs are ridiculous. That being said I decided to make my own ridiculously specific one.
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Blog #324: Look at me Filibuster!
Fucking filibustering is getting to be OUT OF CONTROL! When I first heard about it it was in that Jimmy Stewart movie Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and it was used to help out the little man from government corruption. It’s now being used exclusively for government corruption. Just awful.
So I’m trying my hand at filibusting.
To view the blog click here.
Blog #323: Apple Computers and Child Labor
It was reported by the telegraph that Apple has used child labor to build their computers. If we were paying attention at all this would have been very very obvious.
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February 2010
26 posts
Blog #322: That’s What Sheen Said
I emerge back from vacation with a silly pun. At least it’s not that much of a topical pun. It’s kind of just a pun for the everyman… the everyman who chases women. THAT’S WHAT SHEEN SAID!
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Blog #321: Here Are Some Math Jokes
By Guest Blogger My Friend Stephen
MATH JOKES! YES! Welcome to the weekend everybody with some amazing math jokes. Friday is here, and tomorrow Friday will be gone, but Math is forever.
My friend Stephen is a very good friend of mine, and I’m uberexcited that he is guest writing a blog for me. For three years me and him co-wrote and edited the humor section...
Blog #320: Rejected Library Donations
By Guest Blogger Ingrid Burrington
Today we get to see some of the rejected book donations from the Decker Library in Baltimore. These are real books, and they were really rejected for circulation. Fucking bizarre.
A note about Ingrid: Ingrid is possibly the best. Yep. In that case best is a noun… that’s how awesome Ingrid is. A few months back I linked to...
Blog #319: Breaking Up With History
By Guest Blogger Nicole Drespel
Taking it back to my nerdy blog roots, Nicole is helping me out by pretending to have a time machine and date historical figures (usually with poor consequences). Nice. For my 24th birthday Nicole got me a bookmark with FDR on it and also got me a fife… like one of those ol’ timey revolutionary flutes. Can we be real right now?...
Blog #317: RE-NIC-ULOUS
By Guest Blogger Nicholas Cage
Pitches for Nick Cage movies, By Nick Cage.
Nicholas Cage is my homie… and this is his guest blog. You might be thinking… “Wait a minute… Dru knows Nick Cage?”
Yes. He reached out after he saw my impression of him for my Master Impressionist video. He thought it was very accurate. So he decided to write me a guest blog when I approached...
Blog #316: Thoughts
By Guest Blogger Aaron Mandel
Let me begin by saying one thing about Aaron Mandel… I love the man, we had some great times in college, but the dude is fucking insane. So insane in fact that he was the only person I gave a blank check for the guest blogs… anything he wanted to do he could do. And I stood by the promise, at the expense of my readers psyche’s. His opinion needed...
Blog #315: The Druth
By Guest Blogger Tanner “Awesome” Ringerund
The description he gave me for this blog: “Exposing the terrible truth about Dru Johnston, creator of the year of the blog project.”
I’m gonna be real with you right now, reader, not only is Tanner an awesome, funny and rad dude, he is also an incredible friend. I worked with him a bit back on his ARG Must Love Robots in which he...
Blog #314: A Brief History of Dinosaurs in Space
By Guest Blogger Becky Ferreira
I’ve known Becky for about a year or so now, ever since we improvised in a show together that consisted of us making up fake historical facts and also during which she accurately predicted that John Updike would die. Ever since I knew that there was something special I loved about Becky. And now, that love is proven...
Blog #313: An Old Man Yells At You From His Porch
By Guest Blogger Ezra Fox
Ezra Fox! First off, what a rad name, second off, what a rad person. Ez was in my college improv troupe with me back at Whitman and is a brilliant friend, a brilliant and patient improviser and an incredible writer. Right now he’s getting his MFA in Fiction over at San Francisco State University (smaaaaart) and he’s got...
Blog #312: Well well, Pussy Dru is taking a vacation
So for the next ten days I’m finally exercising my right to use guest bloggers, and I’m going to use 10 in a row. Here are the reasons I’m psyched about this:
1. I’m going to be going down to North Carolina with my improv troupe The New Deal and we get to hang out in Chapel Hill and drink and perform comedy at the festival without ANY...
Blog #311: Louisiana Crawfish Love Mardi Gras
My two favorite things about Louisiana are Crawfish and Mardi Gras. My third favorite thing is music.
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